44 Hilarious Toddler Shirts With Funny Sayings

Delightful humor now come in small shirt sizes

Brighten up anyone’s mood that looks at your child by making them burst into laughter with the help of these adorable toddler shirts with funny sayings; because tots have the best comedic one-liners they just don’t know how to say it yet.

Finally, your kid is no longer a baby! But the little one is still far from cracking up those high-level breath-gasping stomach-hurting jokes that can make a grown man cry. And just like that, you realize that your child’s future looks gloomy and bleak.

Fear not despairing parent because the shirts with a direct connection to everyone’s funny bone are here to help you out.

Funniest toddler shirts with funny phrases for:    

Now sit back, relax and pick the best one-liner on a shirt that perfectly fits your child.

Witty Toddler Shirts with Funny Statements

The Smooth Operator

For toddlers that are smooth beyond words, elegant in their ways, and rarely get in trouble. Some tots are just born with it, no matter how sticky the situation is, they just make it look easy. Parents all around the world are just speechless; no matter where they look they just cannot come up with anything to pin on this one.

Handsome Eyes & Chubby Thighs

For little boys

If your kiddo has it then you have to let the shirt say it. This little tee is made of 100% cotton ultra-comfy material and is available in white, red and gray (with a black print design).

Play Date Material

For any toddler

Not trying to be cheeky or anything but is your tot play date material? If so, do not be shy and let the whole playground know about it in black and white. Comes in 100% combed ringspun cotton; soft and durable.

Little Lucky Charmer

For any toddler

It is St. Paddy’s Day every time your little lucky charmer is around. Your child doesn’t need to be Irish, all it takes is a heather green cotton-poly jersey shirt, right? Lucky white printed clover leaf art included.

Feed Me & Tell Me I'm Pretty

For little girls

Specifically made for your cute needy little fashionista, this shirt is available in white and comes sprinkled with gold lettering. And if that’s not enough, you can ask for specific customizations so that baby gets what baby wants.

SNACK! Please

For any toddler

Sometimes all it takes are only two words to convey the “feed me, feed me now, with everything you got!” message clearly. The smooth toddler one-liner comes in a heat pressed bold vinyl design on a black jersey tee.

The Bold

While others cry and struggle during nap time, the bold confidently take risks. By not letting the boogie man or even the babysitter strike fear in their little hearts, they are able to live life on the edge. They will not crawl and they will let mommy, daddy, and even the family dog know what is on their sippy cup.

Hold My Juice Box

For any toddler

When your little one starts singing the ABC trying to outdo the other whelps at day care, you just know that your kid is going places. Why not give a little more push with an encouraging statement in a black crew neck with short sleeves?

The Sass Is Strong With This One

For little girls

Jedi parents’ instincts are never wrong, especially when it comes to their little princess. But the same can’t be said to the lesser non-Jedi kind, let them know what they are dealing with in strong shiny gold letters on a cotton-poly blend shirt.

Stage 5 Clinger

For any toddler

There are tots and there are clinger tots. We are not judging but people have the right to know, for their own safety right? Save others by warning them in clear white letters on 8 different t-shirt colors.

Nap Hair Don't Care

For any toddler

Life is too early to start worrying about the little things. Everyone has got problems so why focus on the unimportant stuff? Remind your little one with a playful chic statement shirt. Available in 6 colors, printed using durable commercial-grade matte vinyl.

They See Me Rollin They Hatin'

For any toddler

It is nobody’s fault that other kids are envious of your child’s shiny new plastic toy ride. After all, little haters are going to little hate. Rub it in more into their snotty little faces with this cool white tee.

Two Legit 2 Quit

For any 2-year-old toddler

Whether it is making a sloppy mess or nagging you to the brink of insanity, some kids are just too good to quit at what they do. And why not let everyone know in white print on a black premium jersey tee?

The Rebel

Every once in a while there is always a rebel that rises from the ranks of the infants. Always contradicting the grownups and never doing what they are told, these toddlers strike fear in the hearts of daycare teachers worldwide. Remember, it all starts with a simple “No” followed by the signature angry eyebrows.

My Mom Thinks She Is In Charge That's So Cute

For any toddler

Mommy’s little rebel never looked so disobedient on white before, that is until this shirt came along. We all know they are thinking about it, they know they are thinking about it; no reason to not let the whole world think about it.

I Do What I Want #toddlerlife

For any toddler

This is the toddler life summed up in black print on a gray shirt. Parents can set up rules, give out timeouts, or even make up scary mythical boogieman stories, but at the end of the day, tots will still do what they want.

In My Defense I Was Left Unsupervised

For any toddler

Do you want to know the easiest and most effective way to not get blamed by grownups? Just admit the truth. Yup, it is their fault; case closed. The statement is rebelliously available in black print on a gray t-shirt.

Skipped My Nap #rebel

For any toddler

We all know naming and shaming is a very dirty tactic to use especially on the kiddies but when all hope is lost nobody is going to blame you. All you need is a white shirt with a black print, #rebel.

Sorry I Don't Do "Quiet"

For any toddler

Being polite while being rebellious is an art that sadly not a lot of toddlers are capable of pulling off. For the few that can, kudos! You get a black soft, high-quality shirt. Shhh… make sure not to tell anyone.

I'm Just Here For The Snacks

For any toddler

No use beating around the daycare bush. Toddlers just want to snack, and what better way to let the grownups know than a black and white raglan style shirt; because honesty, most the time gets the candy.

The Realist

Some grownups think this bunch is full of negative thinkers but the truth is they are just being themselves; just calling out toddler life for what it is. Instead of hoping for that big dreamy sweet sucker they know they will never have, they just accept the healthy nutritious apple they have been dealt with. No imaginary expectations, no imaginary disappointments.

I Am Why We Cannot Have Nice Things.

For any toddler

It is time to spill the beans, let the cat out of the bag… you know the real reason why your family cannot have nice things. Proudly put this black tee on the little culprit to also let the whole world know about it.

I Still Live With My Parents

For any toddler

Have you already done everything but your little tot just won’t move out of the house? Try a 100% cotton shirt in navy blue that spells the kiddo’s most shameful secret in clear white letters.

Don't Scare Me... I Poop Easily!

For any toddler

Let this black tee be a warning to all those who dare give a scare to your beloved child. And make sure to put on a diaper on your little one, you know just in case.

The Snuggle Is Real

For any toddler

Struggling day after day to clean up after your kid, you really think life is unfair? Do you? Well, maybe you do but your little one has it warm and comfy, black printed on a white shirt never sounded so nestled.

I'm Not Angry This Is Just My Face.

For any toddler

Is your little toddler sick and tired of telling confused grownups and their clueless fellow kiddos that he or she is not angry at them? Do everyone a favor and let this black shirt explain everything in clear white bold text.

I Only Cry When Ugly People Hold Me

For any toddler

We know it is harsh but then again it is the cold hard truth, some grownups might not like it, some might even cry like a baby but it has to be said, on a 100% cotton breathable black shirt of course.

The Animal Lover

Children are naturally attracted to animals but some are just too attached to them, meet the animal lover. If it is warm, cuddly and breathes these tots need to have them, never mind the responsibility of cleaning the poop and the stinky smell because in the end, they are still both adorable AF.

Ask Me About My Moo Cow

For any toddler

Give your toddler a soft crew neck shirt to help break the ice when they are interacting with their fellow tots in the sandbox. All it takes is one simple question then a quick flip and before anyone can sip on their juice box, out comes the moo cow.

Ask Me About My Oink Oink

For any toddler

Your kid might love the savory taste of crunchy bacon in the morning but you know the little animal-loving tot will love this little 90% cotton, 10% polyester oink oink tee even more. Available in black, gray and white.

Ask Me About My Rawr

For any toddler

Designed for the kiddie who likes to surprise, this gray shirt puts the pre-historic back to the modern playground with a flipping rawr. It is also available in white and pink because little girls can also surprisingly flip the dinosaur.

Ask Me About My Neigh Neigh

For any toddler

You bet your sweet little donkey, everyone is going to flip out when your kiddo flips his adorable neigh neigh shirt. This galloping little horsey comes in a comfortable soft white crew neck shirt, 90% Cotton and 10% Polyester.

Ask Me About My Woof Woof

For any toddler

Have you ever heard of the phrase flip the dog? Neither have we. But your little tot will have, that is after rocking this black doggie lover t-shirt. Grownups and fellow toddlers will be begging your kiddo to see his woof woof.

The Unavailable

Everybody hates rejection, the feels are just too much to handle but what are going to do if this toddler is not into you? There are men going their own way, die-hard feminists and then there are the unavailable tots. If you get your heart broken by these children always remember, it’s not you it’s them.

I Only Love My Bed and My Momma I'm Sorry

For little boys

Sorry little girls but this little guy only has two things on his mind, his short crib and his lovely momma. Playing in the merry go round was fun but the black shirt says it all, in white clear letters.

Single and Loving It

For little girls

There is nothing like a single dependent little girl proudly living the toddler dream. No little boys to worry about; just nap time, the grownups and the occasional boo boo. This shirt is available in white, with pink and black printing.

I'm Not Allowed To Date Ever.

For little girls

Hey, she is not even 4 and all the little boys at the playground already want to play tag with her. The solution? Pink bold letters on a black shirt. Even though most kiddos at her age do not know how to read yet, they will get the message… or not, atleast you tried.

Fries Before Guys

For little girls

It is not really out in the open so most boys do not know about it, but it is always greasy junk food before watching Sesame Street with boy tots. Heartbreaking message comes printed in black on a 100% cotton pink shirt.

I Only Love Snacks & My Daddy I'm Sorry

For any toddler

You can just keep on dreaming if you think you are going to share a nutritious snack with daddy’s little toddler. There ain’t nobody on this kid’s mind except daddy and those tasty treats. Witty one-liner comes in vinyl, heat transferred on a cotton shirt.

The Toughie

Not so old colorful nursery pop-up books say that when a heavily-tattooed sailor dies he gets reincarnated as a toddler toughie. These kids mean business. Once they put their foot down, parents know nap time is over. If only it were possible, these toddlers would grow a beard and bulge with muscles, thank goodness that is not our reality.

Mahhh!... The Meatloaf!

For little boys

Will Ferrell on Wedding Crashers thought he had it made; no job, staying in his mother’s house, just living the parasitic dream. But do not worry because your little one can still be like him with this shirt, available in white on black.

Witch Better Have My Candy

For any toddler

Is your little toddler going trick or treating this Halloween? Let the neighbors know what your tot is after on a purple white printed shirt, because when the kiddo knocks on that door and asks the question; witch better have that candy.

Naptimes Most Wanted

For any toddler

If your kid is like a wanted convict, running away from nap time and screaming “You will never get me awake!“ at top of his or her little lungs then you have to get this shirt. Available in intense red and all sorts of colors to match your tot’s personality.

Straight Outta Timeout

For any toddler

So your little tot just got out of timeout huh? No better way to celebrate a second chance in the playroom than a shirt to remind the kid how beautiful toddler freedom is. Printed on a 100% combed-cotton drama-free shirt.

Daddy's Drinking Buddy

For any toddler

Every parent knows that their little toddler is still too young to go out bar hopping but always old enough to drink with daddy. Beer and milk bottles never looked so good printed in black on a white kiddo shirt.

Cereal Killer

For any toddler

Do not be ashamed to admit it, we all know that every family has one, no exceptions. Your tot is a cereal killer! There, it is out in the open. If that is not enough get this shirt to warn others that are at the breakfast table.

Mama's Little Toddler

As a result of being addicted to mama’s warm nutritious breast milk at an early age, these fanatic little kiddies will do anything to please their mommies. They will tell on you, eat their veggies, heck they’ll even do nap time willingly. Be careful, they might look sweet and innocent but deep down inside you know they are only thinking of one thing.

I'm Your Father's Day Present ...Mom Says You're Welcome

For any toddler

Clever thrifty moms with their witty little toddlers know what is up, give those clueless dads a funny surprise on father’s day by wrapping the tot in a black shirt with clear white label printing. Font style can also be customized according to your liking.  

Ain't A Woman Alive That Could Take My Mama's Place

For little boys

Taking naps together, drinking on the same juice box and singing head, shoulders, knees and toes… it was really fun but sorry little girl tot you will never take his mama’s place. The hard truth is available in black vinyl on a white cotton shirt.

Laid Back With My Mind On My Mommy & My Mommy On My Mind

For any toddler

For all the easy-going kiddos out there that like to live the toddler life on the easy mommy side, we have found the perfect shirt for you; 100% cotton with a relaxed fit for that extra laidback toddler comfort.

Namaste' With My Mama

For any toddler

Those weird yoga poses that you (yes, you mommy!) like so much might not be your little tot’s cup of tea, and that’s ok because at the end of the day you know that the kiddo will still want to namaste’ with mama.

Keep Walking Ladies My Daddy Is Taken

For any toddler

Mommy’s little jail guard is always on duty with this adorable yet firm 100% cotton shirt. We know that at times daddy might feel a bit uncomfortable but mama loyalty comes first. T-shirt is available in white, black, and gray.

As you have seen there are a lot of adorable toddler shirts with funny sayings available online. The rich culture of internet memes, classic puns, and hilarious one-liners open the door to endless possibilities of awkwardly embarrassing your kid.

Don’t wait for them to grow up and use your toddler’s charm to make people laugh today!